Lawd Jesus, It’s a Faaaahre


BonfireAdmittedly, I’m oblivious to today’s Blog Every Day in November (#BEDN) topic which is “Bonfire Night.” This is apparently tied to Guy Fawkes, an English historical figure who apparently fought for the Spanish and came up with some “gunpowder plot.”

Forgive me, but I am not a history buff. That area of expertise lies with my father, Crazy Bob. I did not inherit this trait. However, I did inherit the trait of a steel trap memory and the stubbornness of the “Fighting Irish.”  You don’t want to do battle with me because you won’t win.  I learned from the very best as a child by closely observing spats during holiday family gatherings.

So what do bonfires make me think of?  This woman:

Sweet Brown

For those of you who aren’t familiar, that’s Sweet Brown.  She’s famous for getting up to get herself a cold pop, smelling a barbecue, realizing her apartment complex was burning down, yelling “Oh lawd Jesus, there’s a faaaaahre,” and then running for her life. Then the smoke got her. She got bronchitis and said, “Ain’t nobody got time fo’ dat!” She’s my favorite YouTube media disaster gone right – she now has advertising deals and her very own line of barbecue sauce. In fact, I love her so much that my friends told me I had a “Sweet Brown tic disorder” and had to do an intervention banning me from using any of her phrases. I totally plan on getting some of her barbecue sauce the near future to spite them. I have high hopes that it will be amazing.

Enough about Sweet Brown. You know what else bonfires remind me of?  They make my hair smell like bacon. That’s ten times better than the awful scent of some John Frieda shampoo and conditioner I decided to sample. I smell like a two dollar teenage prostitute (sorry for any JF fans, but it’s giving me a headache).

Since I’ve already argued with someone today, I’m going to recognize “Bonfire Night” by cooking some fresh hickory-smoked bacon.  Then I’m going to make a sandwich, drink wine, and play around with some graphic design stuff.

Cheers to that!


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